


Distractions and Haircuts

by sekliGacisseJ



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels, rebels - Fandom
Genre: 2 part short, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Attraction, Comfort, Distractions, Ezra has abs, F/M, Family, Feelings of guilt, Flustered, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Guilt, Haircuts, He ain’t a boy anymore, Healing, Impulsive reactions, Mother Hera, Post Malachor, Puberty, Regret, Remorse, Sabine Wren Needs a Hug, Self Loathing, Short, Worry, dealing with regret, he a man, mentioned - Freeform, sabine checks him out, shameless fluff, space mom hera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekliGacisseJ/pseuds/sekliGacisseJ
Summary: Months after Malachor the crew of The Ghost is still dealing with the after effects. Guilt and concern for Kanan is high and distractions have been the only thing keeping them going so far.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger/Sabine Wren, Ezra/Sabine, Ezrabine - Relationship, Hera Syndulla & Sabine Wren, Hera/Kanan, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, sabezra
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sucker for some space family down time.  
> Enjoy!

Another routine supply pick up was complete and again they all had the bruises to prove it. Nothing too exciting, but nothing ever was at the moment. A few troopers had chased them to the ship with the cargo in tow once they discovered rebels were trying to smuggle supplies, a few blaster fires shot their way but nothing they couldn't handle.

With only 1 Jedi their defence had been more demanding than usual though. There were a few close calls, 1 or 2 shots barely missing Sabine and zeb by inches as they retaliated fire and Chopper finished loading the stock while Hera jumped up the ladder to get the ship started.

It would have been different if Kanan was there, smoother, more troopers to cover, probably less bruises and most likely more cargo salvaged; but he wasn't, he was at Chopper Base. He hadn't left Chopper Base since him and Ezra returned from Malachor.

All physically and mentally drained from the day the Ghosts crew felt sluggish and beat.

Ezra had hopped in the refresher before thinking about catching some sleep, with a couple of hours in hyper space he thought he might as well make use of this precious time to rest and recuperate a bit.

Zeb was up in the turret, cleaning his bo riffle and humming along to another rock song blasting through the speakers. Luckily the ship acts almost as well as a soundproof studio up there so all Sabine and Hera could hear from where they sat in the living space was a dull beat of the music vibrating down the durasteel of the ship.

"You should get some rest, you haven't slept properly in days, we've still got a couple hours till we get back to base" Sabine mentioned to Hera, who was tinkering with choppers wiring, not that he needed any maintenance.

"Yeah I will, I want check the supply manifest first though, cross check everything we were able to load before -"

"Hera we'll do that when we get back" Sabine cut her off with a sharp 'you're not fooling me' tone in her voice.

Hera remained quiet, only giving a small sigh in response to Sabine's slight scolding against her refusal to slow down and give herself some time for self care.

The truth was if she did slow down, if she did stop and take a moment to rest that would mean she was giving herself time to think, to muse over her worry's for the rebellion; the struggle of finding enough food supplies to keep them going, fuel for the ships, materials to fight with, never mind the actual rebels to drive and carry out the cause. The empire always felt right behind them no matter how badly they tried to shake them off, plus their deadly force had killed more rebel fighters than she could count.

But most importantly she knew if she took a moment to breath her thoughts would go to him... Kanan. He hadn't been the same since Malachor, who would be after losing their sight but still she worried about him.

The past few months he'd been slowly growing distant, withdrawing into this shell he'd created for himself, spending more time alone mediating than anything else; which would have been fine if she knew he wasn't just using it as an excuse to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation.

The few times she'd tried to bring up the topic of rejoining their missions he'd dismissed her, saying ‘he would think about it’ or ‘he wasn’t ready yet and they’d talk later'.

Any moment she got with him was filled with unspoken tension hanging like thick soup in the air as of late, seasoned with her unwavering care and worry for him and his reluctance to broach the topic or get back on the horse so to speak.

Unable to get his own head around what to say and how to deal with it, never mind trying to talk it through with another person.

Any private romantic encounters between them had been getting more infrequent as well, with a base now established and a slightly less unpredictable schedule she'd of hoped they'd of had more alone time together, no more catching a few minutes together while the kids were off blowing up a few imperial ships or stealing a TIE fighter. But the ability to no longer see her normally, never mind in their intimate moments, seemed to just bring him pain; pain she didn't know how to alleviate.

As much as she just wanted to take all his pain away she knew she couldn't heal him herself, that would only come when he was ready, she just wondered when that would be.

His pain was slowly becoming her pain too, plus her crew's pain.

Knowing things would never quite return to how they would be, even if he rejoined the ghost for missions sat heavy on everyone's shoulders, especially Ezras. She knew he blamed himself, could see the flash of guilt on his face every time he saw Kanan, every time he was mentioned, even on a simple supply run like they'd just accomplished. The guilt and sadness would creep up on him when he had to do something they'd usually do together; blocking blaster fire or throwing a few troopers with the force.

It had affected them all, but if she gave herself time to digest it she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her head above the water. So instead she stayed busy with unnecessary little jobs to stop her mind from drifting and the gates on her emotions from flooding open.

She snapped back to reality after a few moments, reminding herself of what Sabine had said and swallowing the lump that had snuck up in her throat.

"I would Sabine... but they'll be wanting a debrief as soon as we get back, and with supplies missing another shipment will have to be arranged much sooner than originally intended"

All this was true, but Sabine knew she was also using this excuse to keep her mind ticking over and she couldn't blame her.

“I'll give you a hand" she decided, two hands would be quicker than one, plus trying to discourage Hera when she had set her mind on something was a losing battle.

"No Sabine, get some rest" Hera interjected calmly.

Sabine gave Hera a questioning look. One, she knew with Hera being the perfectionist she is, would prefer to cross check the supplies on her own, but she also didn't want to dump the entire whole work load on her. Two, she wondered if Hera burying herself into distractions for the next few hours, when she was visibly troubled, pain and worry plastered across her face despite her best efforts to hide it, with only the company of Chopper was a good idea.

Finally she gave in, "Okay" Sabine said with a nod "shout if you need me".

And with a small smile of acknowledgement and thanks from Hera, Sabine stood to head to her cabin.

Her door slid shut behind her and she slumped to sit on her bed. She began removing her amour, carefully placing them on the bench before removing the tight trouser and body suit under layers and changing into a pair of leggings and a vest.

She lay back on her bunk relieved for a few moments of peace. But despite the heavy ness of her limbs and exhaustion that lapped at the edges of her mind she couldn't switch off. Hera’s concern for Kanan was understandable and shared, she could see the ache that had settled in all of her crew members' chests and had spent many nights herself tossing over ways to help him.

She took a deep breath willing her mind away from any further distress. Staring at the ceiling she focused on the soft hum of the ship around her, tuning into its familiar clinks and vibrations of the durasteel through its hyperspace journey.

Her mind shifted from the sounds of the ship when a pair of bare feet could be heard padding down the corridor. She could tell who it was without hesitation. She’d learnt the sound of each of her crew members footsteps over the years she'd called The Ghost home.

Hera's were light, swift and agile, barely touching the floor before pushing herself onto her next step.

Kanan's were solid and assured, his strides longer and his feet always planted firmly like he always knew he was meant to be standing or walking in that very spot, emanating every bit the Jedi. She missed hearing his familiar footsteps outside her door, listening to his feet patter to the Galley to fetch Hera her evening Caf. She wondered how long it would be until she would hear those familiar footsteps again.

Zebs footsteps were bold and heavy, she always knew he was on the way when his stomping determined feet were strolling their way across the ship.

And of course you couldn’t miss Choppers distinctive noises, those were the easiest to identify; his familiar rolling of wheels, plus the wraps and warbles of obscenities you'd hear being muttered, she wondered where he'd picked up such language.

But these footsteps didn't belong to any of those crew members, these footsteps were soft and firm, with a steady swagger to them. Ezras.

She tilted her head to listen, his footsteps getting closer making his way down the corridor from the direction of the refresher. She heard the rustle of a towel and soft mutters under his breath indicating he was deep in thought. His footsteps stopped when he came in line with their cabin doors and a sigh escaped him before punching the button to his cabin.

Something was bothering him, she noted this wasn’t the first laboured sigh he’d expressed in the past few months, a number of things had been bothering him for a while. She suspected what it was but hadn't felt the right moment to bring it up with him.

She waited for the familiar hiss of his cabin doors to close behind him, shutting down her ability to listen out for him and forcing her attention to drift somewhere else, but to her surprise it didn't come.


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra was distracted, returning from the refresher he hadn't paid much attention to his surroundings.

He’d caught his reflection in the mirror and almost choked. With his hair wet and hanging loosely around his face he suddenly realised how much it was starting to resemble Kanans. Running his hands through it he wondered how he hadn’t seen it before.

It was getting long enough to tie back and would surely start to become a nuisance in combat soon if he left it to hang so freely, no wonder Kanan never wore his hair down, any longer and it would start to get in his eyes. 

The constant eb of guilt that sat in the pit of his stomach bubbled to the surface.  _ It’s got to go _ , he decided. He didn’t need any more sickening constant reminders of the emotional weight already sitting on his shoulders, of how he failed his master every time he caught his reflection,  _ especially from something as simple as hair _ , he mused to himself bitterly.

With irritation slapped on his face, he rummaged around the draws in his cabin looking for anything that would be adequate enough to cut his hair. He’d sourced a small hand held mirror and propped it against the shelf, the visibility and angles it offered was poor to non-existent, but Ezra wasn’t concerned about how it’d look; he just needed it gone.

Sabine could hear him grumbling under his breath across the hall, his shuffling and lack of attempt to redeem any sort of immediate privacy post refresher pipping her curiosity.

She’d made her way to her door, her hand hovered over the control button, debating whether she should get involved with whatever distress he was sorting through.

It's a good job she did. Impulsively pressing the button she caught Ezra with his cabin door still open, scissors in hand, hacking away at his hair, cutting his locks sporadically at varying lengths, not even bothering to change out of his meagre cover up of just a towel wrapped around his bottom half, exposed from abdomen up.

Squinting into the tiny mirror twisting awkwardly to see the back of his head he hadn’t noticed her door opening, or the way her eyes rolled as soon as they’d landed upon him.

He paused when her presence filled the space behind him, ashamed he’d been caught in the middle of such an impulsive self loathing moment.

"Here," she gently took the scissors away from him "if you're going to cut it, you're going to do it properly" she said with a small smirk.

“Sit” she motioned to the cushioned bench behind her.

Thanking her silently with a nod, her presence was already relaxing his inner turmoil and the clear headed mind that came with it a welcome savour. Sabine responded with a lift of the eyebrows and shake of the head.

She began to inspect the small mess he’d made atop his head, debating what salvageable job would be possible. Some strands were cut so short she knew the length would be a drastic change to his current wavy locks.

She knelt behind him and began parting his hair, preparing to cut off what excess length she didn’t need to work with.

The space was filled with a comfortable silence as she set to work, starting with the back and top of his head, using the already hacked hair as a guide length.

She’d not been this close to him in a while, excluding all the times they’d find themselves crouched together behind some makeshift cover, ducking their heads together away from incoming fire or grenades that is, and certainly not for this extended period of time.

She couldn't help notice how much Ezra had grown in the past year. They were always so busy fighting against the empire, this quiet moment together gave her the opportunity to look at him, really look at him.

Trailing her eyes across him, she realised how much taller he'd got, once her eyes met with his forehead now they were level with his chin. His shoulders had broadened too, the slopes of his shoulders becoming much more defined.

All that fighting had assisted in the muscle mass he'd also accumulated, his biceps strong and sturdy, his chest showing some very clear pectoral definition, and his tight stomach showing a couple of abs.

The 14 year old boy who’d first joined the ghost was now a shadow as this young man stood before her, a handsome man she thought to herself.  _ Don't sabine _ , she scolded herself.

She adjusted herself to the edge of the bench to face his side profile, trimming the hair on the sides. His eyes were closed, eyebrows drawn together slightly in an expression she knew all too well. She could feel he’d relaxed as soon as she’d taken the scissors from him, but the emotional discomfort he had been feeling was still etched onto his face.

She’d seen this look from him many times over the past few years, more and more frequently though since Malachor, everytime Hera walked across to The Ghost after another unsuccessful attempt of bringing Kanan with them or any time a mission didn’t go according to plan. She’d even seen it directed at her a few times, especially when she found herself in a slightly less than safe predicament, of course she could look after herself, but it was nice to know he cared so much.

Drawing her focus away from the hair still tickling his ears, she pulled back to check it was even.

Ezras facial features had sharpened as well, she noticed, his jaw strong and angular, stubble now starting to cast a faint shadow across his chin. His eyes remained the same though, under his closed lids they were brilliant blue, beautiful. __

_ Oh no _ , she thought to herself realising what she was thinking.  _ Karabast. Puberty had hit him like a y-wing falling from orbit. _ She shook her head slightly.  _ He just had to sit there in nothing but a towel as well. _

Flustered and frustrated at her mind wandering onto unsavoury thoughts about her teammate and one of her closest friends, she willed the flush that was creeping up her face to disappear before he reopened his eyes and questioned why she’d stopped.

“How's it going?” He asked, eyes still closed but sensing the shift in her demeanour.

“Well it's going to have to be quite a change, there's enough hair here to make a nest for a loth-cat” she joked, glad her flustered state hadn’t been picked up on, or maybe it had, he was just too kind or distracted to say anything.

He laughed at the loth-related comment. “As long as I still have something left” he teased.

“You’re lucky you do Bridger, I had half a mind to shave it off” she matched his tone with equal jive, happy to see his mood perk up.

She continued to work silently, switching her attention to the other side of his head.

The sensation of Sabine fingering through his hair was calming for Ezra. He relished every touch and brush of contact, her hand softly placed on the back of his neck soothing his inner turmoil in between cutting off his coal black locks.

Coming round to his front he opened his eyes to be met with the familiar face of his best friend inches away from his own. Her concentration face always amused him, bottom lip between her teeth, eyebrows scrunched together and hazel eyes glinting with creativity earned a small smile across Ezras lips as he studied her.

She pulled back to examine her work, hands placed on either of his bare shoulders to keep him steady, turning his head softly by cupping his cheeks checking she hadn’t missed anything before making the last few adjustments.

With a satisfied hum she grabbed the mirror. “What do you think?” She asked, holding the reflection in front of him.

It was certainly different, his hair hadn’t been this short in many years. He noted how it made him look older, his features more defined, no longer hidden under a curtain of hair. “I like it”.

“Is that it?” She questioned suspiciously after a pause.

“It’s amazing, really” he assured her sincerely, “thank you”.

He wasn’t just grateful for the haircut, she’d lifted his mood immensely. Her company alone alleviating what probably would have been another few hours full of restless attempts at sleep and guilt ridden thoughts.

“If I catch you doing that again don’t think I won’t think twice about dying it all colours of the rainbow” she warned collecting up what hair she could from the floor and bench.

He held his hands up in surrender, a smirk across his face “I promise, no more cutting my own hair”.

Satisfied with his response and his no longer disgruntled attitude she began to head out of his cabin.

“Put some clothes on as well while you’re at it” she started, stopping to glance over her shoulder.

“Wouldn’t want to scare the others” she teased, with a mock expression of horror before it broke into a playful smile and she turned back to her cabin.

He laughed to himself as her door hiss shut behind her.  _ Yeah. I feel much better _ . He thought to himself as he changed into his sleepwear and settled into his bunk.

Sabine had this way of calming every fibre within him, his mind clearer than it had been in days and the possibility of a peaceful few hours of sleep was a welcome thought.

He knew seeing Kanan upon returning to Chopper Base would still eat away at the guilt he held for his mentor, but he also knew he wasn’t in this alone, and neither was Kanan.


End file.
